Good, bad, worse...and WHAAAAA...!!
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything…and I’ve been trying to put some thoughts together. I am so busy these days that it’s hard to pin any thought down long enough to put it to paper.
We launched the website for our musical. Please check it out:
www.becomingbritney.com
We are in a mad dash to finish the show for a number of deadlines. We are having a reading of the show so we can hear it out loud and see what works (and what doesn’t). We are also submitting the piece to 2 theatre festivals in New York. These deadlines are fast approaching…and we’ve got lots of matieral to write and put together to send with the script.
In case you haven’t heard, my sister Victoria’s leukemia has returned. She has some in her bone marrow and some in her blood. She’s staring a course of out-patient chemo starting Monday…and she will get another biopsy in 2 months to see if it’s helping. It’s very scary and upsetting…but we’re all trying to remain calm and move through it with positive attitudes.
I’m also trying to decide how to proceed with making a living. My free lance web work has dried up a lot…probably the economy…and I’m confused about how to go forward with a job search.
I’m not living full time as a woman…but I don’t use the name David anymore. I’m also not exactly masculine either…so I’m not sure how I would even present myself at an interview. Who could blame a potential employer from being a hesitant when I’m in such flux as a physical person?
But I have to do SOMEthing. Things are getting desperate. I need to meditate on it and ask friends for advice…and I’m sure it will all work out the way it’s supposed to.
I had a transition milestone last night:
I went to my friend’s fabulous salon/spa (http://www.atelieraveda.com) where she trimmed my hair…showed me how to deal with it...gave me a makeup lesson…and suggested products for my hair and face. It was great to have lots of questions answered and I’m sure it will help me greatly as I proceed. Thanks Karie…!!
But…I still have the bathroom thing that I have to conquer. If I’m going to a restaurant, which bathroom do I use? I’m not really sure how I’m perceived…so I’m not sure. Certainly if I’m in full makeup I won’t be comfortable in the men’s room. But some women get really weird if they perceive a man in their midst, not matter how he’s dressed. Some trans advice suggests that you go to the manager and tell them you are transgender and ask which bathroom they would like you to use. That just seems like unnecessary humiliation.
I guess if I’m with other women I could have them check first to make sure the place is empty.
It’s all such a pain in the ass, frankly. My friend Rebecca says it’s weird the first few times and then it gets easier.
Sometimes I get sick of every facet of my life being such an uphill battle. But I knew that would be the case going in…and these are the times I have to keep my eye on the prize.
Lastly, my weight is not budging. I’ve been working out 5 – 6 days a week for about 5 weeks now…and nothing…no progress. It’s infuriating…and now I know the frustration some women feel about men dropping weight with the blink of an eye. I’ll keep working out becuase I love the endorphins and it’s good for my blood pressure…but…COME ON…!!!
Its record low temps…it’s rainy…and I also have a cold…
And that all sounds so complain-y. I think that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. I feel like bitching all the time. Stress no doubt. Hopefully posting this will help exorcize some of those demons.
I'll try to be better about postsing.
We launched the website for our musical. Please check it out:
www.becomingbritney.com
We are in a mad dash to finish the show for a number of deadlines. We are having a reading of the show so we can hear it out loud and see what works (and what doesn’t). We are also submitting the piece to 2 theatre festivals in New York. These deadlines are fast approaching…and we’ve got lots of matieral to write and put together to send with the script.
In case you haven’t heard, my sister Victoria’s leukemia has returned. She has some in her bone marrow and some in her blood. She’s staring a course of out-patient chemo starting Monday…and she will get another biopsy in 2 months to see if it’s helping. It’s very scary and upsetting…but we’re all trying to remain calm and move through it with positive attitudes.
I’m also trying to decide how to proceed with making a living. My free lance web work has dried up a lot…probably the economy…and I’m confused about how to go forward with a job search.
I’m not living full time as a woman…but I don’t use the name David anymore. I’m also not exactly masculine either…so I’m not sure how I would even present myself at an interview. Who could blame a potential employer from being a hesitant when I’m in such flux as a physical person?
But I have to do SOMEthing. Things are getting desperate. I need to meditate on it and ask friends for advice…and I’m sure it will all work out the way it’s supposed to.
I had a transition milestone last night:
I went to my friend’s fabulous salon/spa (http://www.atelieraveda.com) where she trimmed my hair…showed me how to deal with it...gave me a makeup lesson…and suggested products for my hair and face. It was great to have lots of questions answered and I’m sure it will help me greatly as I proceed. Thanks Karie…!!
But…I still have the bathroom thing that I have to conquer. If I’m going to a restaurant, which bathroom do I use? I’m not really sure how I’m perceived…so I’m not sure. Certainly if I’m in full makeup I won’t be comfortable in the men’s room. But some women get really weird if they perceive a man in their midst, not matter how he’s dressed. Some trans advice suggests that you go to the manager and tell them you are transgender and ask which bathroom they would like you to use. That just seems like unnecessary humiliation.
I guess if I’m with other women I could have them check first to make sure the place is empty.
It’s all such a pain in the ass, frankly. My friend Rebecca says it’s weird the first few times and then it gets easier.
Sometimes I get sick of every facet of my life being such an uphill battle. But I knew that would be the case going in…and these are the times I have to keep my eye on the prize.
Lastly, my weight is not budging. I’ve been working out 5 – 6 days a week for about 5 weeks now…and nothing…no progress. It’s infuriating…and now I know the frustration some women feel about men dropping weight with the blink of an eye. I’ll keep working out becuase I love the endorphins and it’s good for my blood pressure…but…COME ON…!!!
Its record low temps…it’s rainy…and I also have a cold…
And that all sounds so complain-y. I think that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. I feel like bitching all the time. Stress no doubt. Hopefully posting this will help exorcize some of those demons.
I'll try to be better about postsing.
posted by Daya Curley at
7:28 AM
3 Comments:
i'm with you on the weight loss! keep drinking A LOT of h2o and working out. at least it will tone muscles. good luck!
j
Daya, thanks for the shout. I had a great time working with you...'haven't laughed that much in a while. You are such a lovely person...no matter what bathroom you use! loveya sweetie!
--Karie
Hey D..Mike M. here,I fear that your problem with weight loss is probably tied to diet. Trim back on carbs, increase protein intake and whole grain fibers,drink water constantly(helps to give you a "full" feeling so you're apt to eat less when hunger sets in) and try not to eat anything after 9pm. Make Breakfast the largest meal,lunch a bit smaller and dinner as small as possible. You need energy for daytime activities the most and nighttime the least. Keep up the exercise, but only every other day(Body in general needs 24 hours to recover especially with weight training,which I hope you're doing)and If you feel like you need to exercise each day use the in between days for cardio and stretching only.This will help keep muscles from tightening up and becoming sore.The cardio shouldn't be too strenous...a recumbant bike is best(30-45 min's should be enough to break a good sweat)Cut out any processed food from your diet,no fast food period!
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