More than a woman...
There are lots of exciting things going on in my life. My gender transition is a big one…but not the only one.
I made the decision a year ago to stop performing. I knew I would have to do so in order to transition. Being a union performer puts me in heavy competition for very few jobs in the Bay Area…and I am not prepared or interested in trying to compete as an female actor. I’ve been performing for almost 6 years…and it’s been glorious, but it’s time to move on to other endeavors.
Having said that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay away from performing completely. I do love to sing. But…the hormones I take will never change my baritone voice…so…well…I don’t really know what to do with that.
I’ve always wanted to write a musical…and now I have the opportunity. Earlier this year my friend Molly Bell and I began brainstorming ideas we might develop into a live show. We talked for a few weeks about a sketch-type stage project…but that kept hitting dead ends.
There was a kernel of an idea slithering around in Molly's brain about a Britney Spears-like pop performer. She approached me with an idea for a full length show about Britney herself…and she invited me to collaborate with her. We started working on it last February and haven’t stopped since.
The show we’re writing is called BECOMING BRITNEY. We've finished the general outline and shape of the show. We have the songs and know what happens over the 90-minute length. We also just recently…like yesterday…finished a few demo recordings.
Molly and I are co-writers…co-producers…co-directors…and she will star in the show. We’re hoping to do a staged reading workshop of the show in February…and at some point soon we want to mount the show for real.
It’s all very exciting…and fun…and really really creatively satisfying.
We had some invaluable musical assistance at the very beginning from the fabulous Billy Liberatore. And since then we’ve been working with Matt Hohensee, who has assisted us in forcing the scattered thoughts in our heads into some kind of sense on the keyboard and on paper. Matt has done a Herculean job of making it so…and also tolerating what I call my “maelstrom of specificity”, which leaves the weak-hearted feeling like they want to run a spike through their temple.
I'm very specific.
I should also publicly thank Katie Coleman...Matt's lovely partner...for putting up with us and even jumping in and lending hand and voice when necessary.
So…along the way you’ll be hearing about this project as well.
In fact, here’s a preview of one of the demo recordings. This is called “My I Want Song”. I’ve printed the lyrics below so you can follow along. Be patient...the player may take a few moments to load depending on your Internet connection speed.
Enjoy!
“My I Want Song” from BECOMING BRITNEY
Copyright 2007 Molly Bell and D Curley
THIS IS THE TIME IN MY STORY
WHERE I MANAGE TO BREAK IT ALL DOWN
IT IS HERE AT THIS POINT
WHERE I LEARN FROM MISTAKES
IT IS HERE IN THE STORY THAT YOU GET A TASTE OF ME
THIS IS THE TIME IN MY STORY
CAUSE IT'S ABOUT THE THIRD OR FOURTH SONG
IT IS HERE AT THIS PLACE
WHERE YOU START TO CRY CAUSE MY BEAUTIFUL VOICE IS MELODIC AND FLIES
I NEED AN I WANT SONG
SOMETHING COOL AND LIGHT AND GAY
AN I WANT SONG
TO SEND MY TROUBLES ON THEIR WAY
CAUSE IN A MUSICAL YOU NEED A SONG
THAT MAKES YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
AN I WANT SONG
WHERE IS MY I WANT SONG?
I'M JUST LIKE THOSE OTHER HEROES
DREAMED A DREAM WITH BANNERS UNFURLED
LIKE ANNIE YEARNED FOR TOMORROW
AND ARIEL LONGED TO BE LEGGY
AND PART OF OUR WORLD
LIKE FRAULEIN MARIA WANTED ALL OF THOSE CHILDREN
TO LOOK UP TO HER, NOW I SEE
THAT I'M MUCH LIKE THEM AND I NEED FIND
A WAY TO PORTRAY IN THREE MINUTES OR MORE
MY HARD KNOCK AND CONFIDENT AND
LOVERLY DESIRE TO BE FREE
I NEED AN I WANT SONG
TO DESCRIBE INTERNAL STRIFE
AN I WANT SONG
TO GIVE MY FANTASY A LIFE
I NEED A SONG THAT MAKES THE PUBLIC DANCE
AND GIVES ME MY DESERVING CHANCE
AN I WANT SONG
WHERE IS MY I WANT SONG?
AND THE MUSIC STARTS TO SOAR
AND YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT RISE
I AM BELTING WAY UP HIGH
WATCH ME BRIGHTEN UP MY EYES
BET YA HAVEN'T HEARD ME SING LIKE THIS
WELL THERE'S A LOT ABOUT ME YOU DON'T KNOW
I'LL FIND MY I WANT SONG
I EXPLORE MY FEELINGS AND START TO GROW
I GUESS THE TIME IS HERE
YOU CAN FEEL THE MUSIC START TO PUMP
I TELL YOU ABOUT MY FEAR
HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS SLUMP
AS THE CHORDS BEGIN TO CHANGE
I TELL YOU WHAT I'M TRYING TO BE
YOU MAY THINK IT STRANGE
A GIRL LIKE ME HAS ALL AND MORE
IT'S TIME I REARRANGE
PRIORITIES DOWN TO MY CORE
WATCH ME ARTICULATE
I FEEL SO ALIVE AND FREE
I SEE IT, I HEAR IT
I HEAR IT, I SEE IT
I SEE IT AND HEAR IT
I FOUND IT, MY SONG!
I FOUND MY I WANT SONG
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY
MY I WANT SONG
AND YOU'LL LISTEN ANYWAY
CAUSE IN THIS MUSICAL THIS IS A SONG
TO MAKE YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
AS I DISCUSS MY FUTURE FATE
NOW AS THE MUSIC STARTS TO POUR
I WILL NO LONGER HESITATE
I'LL BE THE GIRL I'M LOOKING FOR
LOOKING FOOOOOOORRRRR
GIRL SHE’S LOOKING, LOOKING FOR!
THIS IS HER I WANT SONG
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE SAY
THIS IS HER I WANT SONG
WE'RE SECONDARY ANYWAY
CAUSE IN A MUSICAL YOU NEED A SONG
TO MAKE YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
SEE IN A MUSICAL THERE COMES A TIME
TO DISTRACT YOUR MINDS WITH SIMPLE RHYMES
AND IN THIS MUSICAL, WHICH IS ABOUT THAT GIRL
THIS SONG'S MY PROMISE TO TAKE ON THE WORLD
I FOUND MY I WANT SONG
ARE YOU CRYING YET?
OKAYYYYYYY!
And one last thing...I love Corrinne madly...!! She knows what that means...
I made the decision a year ago to stop performing. I knew I would have to do so in order to transition. Being a union performer puts me in heavy competition for very few jobs in the Bay Area…and I am not prepared or interested in trying to compete as an female actor. I’ve been performing for almost 6 years…and it’s been glorious, but it’s time to move on to other endeavors.
Having said that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay away from performing completely. I do love to sing. But…the hormones I take will never change my baritone voice…so…well…I don’t really know what to do with that.
I’ve always wanted to write a musical…and now I have the opportunity. Earlier this year my friend Molly Bell and I began brainstorming ideas we might develop into a live show. We talked for a few weeks about a sketch-type stage project…but that kept hitting dead ends.
There was a kernel of an idea slithering around in Molly's brain about a Britney Spears-like pop performer. She approached me with an idea for a full length show about Britney herself…and she invited me to collaborate with her. We started working on it last February and haven’t stopped since.
The show we’re writing is called BECOMING BRITNEY. We've finished the general outline and shape of the show. We have the songs and know what happens over the 90-minute length. We also just recently…like yesterday…finished a few demo recordings.
Molly and I are co-writers…co-producers…co-directors…and she will star in the show. We’re hoping to do a staged reading workshop of the show in February…and at some point soon we want to mount the show for real.
It’s all very exciting…and fun…and really really creatively satisfying.
We had some invaluable musical assistance at the very beginning from the fabulous Billy Liberatore. And since then we’ve been working with Matt Hohensee, who has assisted us in forcing the scattered thoughts in our heads into some kind of sense on the keyboard and on paper. Matt has done a Herculean job of making it so…and also tolerating what I call my “maelstrom of specificity”, which leaves the weak-hearted feeling like they want to run a spike through their temple.
I'm very specific.
I should also publicly thank Katie Coleman...Matt's lovely partner...for putting up with us and even jumping in and lending hand and voice when necessary.
So…along the way you’ll be hearing about this project as well.
In fact, here’s a preview of one of the demo recordings. This is called “My I Want Song”. I’ve printed the lyrics below so you can follow along. Be patient...the player may take a few moments to load depending on your Internet connection speed.
Enjoy!
“My I Want Song” from BECOMING BRITNEY
Copyright 2007 Molly Bell and D Curley
THIS IS THE TIME IN MY STORY
WHERE I MANAGE TO BREAK IT ALL DOWN
IT IS HERE AT THIS POINT
WHERE I LEARN FROM MISTAKES
IT IS HERE IN THE STORY THAT YOU GET A TASTE OF ME
THIS IS THE TIME IN MY STORY
CAUSE IT'S ABOUT THE THIRD OR FOURTH SONG
IT IS HERE AT THIS PLACE
WHERE YOU START TO CRY CAUSE MY BEAUTIFUL VOICE IS MELODIC AND FLIES
I NEED AN I WANT SONG
SOMETHING COOL AND LIGHT AND GAY
AN I WANT SONG
TO SEND MY TROUBLES ON THEIR WAY
CAUSE IN A MUSICAL YOU NEED A SONG
THAT MAKES YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
AN I WANT SONG
WHERE IS MY I WANT SONG?
I'M JUST LIKE THOSE OTHER HEROES
DREAMED A DREAM WITH BANNERS UNFURLED
LIKE ANNIE YEARNED FOR TOMORROW
AND ARIEL LONGED TO BE LEGGY
AND PART OF OUR WORLD
LIKE FRAULEIN MARIA WANTED ALL OF THOSE CHILDREN
TO LOOK UP TO HER, NOW I SEE
THAT I'M MUCH LIKE THEM AND I NEED FIND
A WAY TO PORTRAY IN THREE MINUTES OR MORE
MY HARD KNOCK AND CONFIDENT AND
LOVERLY DESIRE TO BE FREE
I NEED AN I WANT SONG
TO DESCRIBE INTERNAL STRIFE
AN I WANT SONG
TO GIVE MY FANTASY A LIFE
I NEED A SONG THAT MAKES THE PUBLIC DANCE
AND GIVES ME MY DESERVING CHANCE
AN I WANT SONG
WHERE IS MY I WANT SONG?
AND THE MUSIC STARTS TO SOAR
AND YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT RISE
I AM BELTING WAY UP HIGH
WATCH ME BRIGHTEN UP MY EYES
BET YA HAVEN'T HEARD ME SING LIKE THIS
WELL THERE'S A LOT ABOUT ME YOU DON'T KNOW
I'LL FIND MY I WANT SONG
I EXPLORE MY FEELINGS AND START TO GROW
I GUESS THE TIME IS HERE
YOU CAN FEEL THE MUSIC START TO PUMP
I TELL YOU ABOUT MY FEAR
HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS SLUMP
AS THE CHORDS BEGIN TO CHANGE
I TELL YOU WHAT I'M TRYING TO BE
YOU MAY THINK IT STRANGE
A GIRL LIKE ME HAS ALL AND MORE
IT'S TIME I REARRANGE
PRIORITIES DOWN TO MY CORE
WATCH ME ARTICULATE
I FEEL SO ALIVE AND FREE
I SEE IT, I HEAR IT
I HEAR IT, I SEE IT
I SEE IT AND HEAR IT
I FOUND IT, MY SONG!
I FOUND MY I WANT SONG
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY
MY I WANT SONG
AND YOU'LL LISTEN ANYWAY
CAUSE IN THIS MUSICAL THIS IS A SONG
TO MAKE YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
AS I DISCUSS MY FUTURE FATE
NOW AS THE MUSIC STARTS TO POUR
I WILL NO LONGER HESITATE
I'LL BE THE GIRL I'M LOOKING FOR
LOOKING FOOOOOOORRRRR
GIRL SHE’S LOOKING, LOOKING FOR!
THIS IS HER I WANT SONG
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE SAY
THIS IS HER I WANT SONG
WE'RE SECONDARY ANYWAY
CAUSE IN A MUSICAL YOU NEED A SONG
TO MAKE YOU SWOON AND HUM ALONG
SEE IN A MUSICAL THERE COMES A TIME
TO DISTRACT YOUR MINDS WITH SIMPLE RHYMES
AND IN THIS MUSICAL, WHICH IS ABOUT THAT GIRL
THIS SONG'S MY PROMISE TO TAKE ON THE WORLD
I FOUND MY I WANT SONG
ARE YOU CRYING YET?
OKAYYYYYYY!
And one last thing...I love Corrinne madly...!! She knows what that means...
3 Comments:
Just want you to know how proud I am of you. Thanks for sharing "My I Want Song". Molly has such a beautiful voice. I would love to hear her sing "Tomorrow" from Annie. Oh, by the way......every Daya I love you gladly! Corrinne
I'm kind of bummed that you're not going to perform anymore but I certainly can understand your decision. I'm looking forward to the musical! That's a perfect role for Molly and I'm sure she'll be wonderful. I hope I didn't seem too shocked today. I didn't know about the big change you're making and the confused look on my face was me wondering if you were getting ready for a new part in a show or something. See you soon I hope. Hugs. Ray
I've been meaning to tell you this for a few weeks now (sorry, I've been such a flake lately) but Molly staged a bit of "Here We Are" in her last class. I got to play the part of the agent. And the song was great. I really, really liked it. And it was stuck in my head for days afterward (in a good way).
I'm really excited for you. For this musical. For everything.
And hey, if you need a non-AEA actor for that reading... :-)
Love you!
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